First Impressions of Kullifornia

Governor Schwarzenegger has ruined California for me. I cannot think of the word "California" without hearing der Gropenfuhrer's brutal pronounciation, which, phonetically, is something like "Kull-ee-for-nee-ah." Perhaps the Governator's speech pattern is appropriate, because California, at least the southern beach area where I have moved, is an in-your-face place.

My first impressions of California are:

1. It is remarkably more expensive than my former home, Washington, DC, in terms of housing, auto insurance, gasoline, food in restaurants, food in grocery stores, etc.

2. The weather is fabulous. Everyone here agrees about this. The only caveat is, the weather gets progressively less perfect as one gets farther inland from the ocean. If one is in the Central Valley, it can be stifling hot, even in November. I live 4 blocks from the beach, so the weather here is pretty damn good.

3. People here are car crazy. The number of high-status luxury and sports cars is off the charts. Many of these drivers live in run-down hovels. No matter. Hardly anyone sees your house. Everyone sees your car.

4. Everything to do with driving sucks. The distances suck. The traffic sucks. The discourteous drivers suck. See also #1.

5. The people here are insanely good looking. They are in fabulous shape. I think the reason is a combination of (a) super local fruits and vegetables available year round, including an abundance of farmers' markets; (b) the easy availability of biking, hiking, rollerblading and other outdoor activities year round; and (c) the summer clothing and bathing suits worn most of the year. There is a fourth possibility to which someone has alerted me: (d) liposuction.

It has only been a few days, way too soon to make any judgments. However, I honestly cannot say that I like California yet. Perhaps I will grow to love it. Or perhaps I will leave after a time, comfortable in knowing that I gave it a shot.