Slumdog is a Dog

I finally saw Slumdog Millionaire. Hated it. I had a feeling that Slumdog wouldn't be quite as good as it was hyped up to be, even though every person I know who saw it in the theater told me Slumdog was the best movie of last year. These people neglected to tell me that Slumdog uses just about every Hollywood movie cliche to create an emotional experience that is no different from that found in the most formulaic movies of all time, including Rocky, E.T., and Titanic.

The most manipulative trick in Slumdog is the exploitation and placing of children in peril. That is probably three-fourths of the content of the entire movie. To me it's the cheapest of stunts. The remainder of Slumdog is made up of ridiculous coincidences in which *spoiler alert* the answer to each question asked of the main character on a nationally televised game show just happens to be something that he experienced precisely during that aforementioned traumatic childhood.

What is most disappointing is that Slumdog's director is Danny Boyle, who rose to prominence by directing such innovative films as Trainspotting and 28 Days Later. Other than the thrilling soundtrack and bright color palette (which sounded and looked, respectively, truly awesome on Blu-Ray dvd), I could find not a trace of the old, brilliant Danny Boyle in Slumdog.

It's true that, like Rocky, E.T.,and Titanic, Slumdog Millionaire was immensely popular and won some of the top Academy Awards. But I hated those movies too. I have not yet seen all of the Oscar contenders from 2008, but I can name at least three thus far (The Reader, Milk, and The Wrestler) that were ten times better than Slumdog. Watch some of them back-to-back at home, as I did with The Reader and Slumdog, and I think you'll find that there is no comparison.