August 30, 2006

Crushing on Mary Landrieu

The stereotype of the lusty Senator committing adultery with various groupies is pervasive in DC, and in American pop culture. However, that stereotype always conjures up the image of a silver-haired Senator in a suit -- in other words, a man. It is against this powerful stereotype that I must admit to having a thing for a Senator, but in my case it is the very female Senator Mary Landrieu of Louisiana.

I don't know what it is -- the blonde power coif, the prim azure suits matching friendly yet confident eyes, the pearly smile hinting of former beauty queen. Actually, I think it's the cheeks. The cheeks are healthy, outdoorsy, youthful. Those cheeks should be chewing a long piece of straw under a curled cowboy hat in a sunlit field.

I may have to move to Louisiana and become a flood victim.


At 10:26 AM, Blogger HomeImprovementNinja said...

HAHAHA! Congratulations. I don't think Mary understands a word of yiddish so even if you asked to schtupp (sp?) her, I don't know if she would be flattered or upset.

At 11:35 AM, Blogger roy said...

Those cheeks should be chewing a long piece of straw under a curled cowboy hat in a sunlit field.

This is what great writing can do: clarify our own thoughts and feeling for us.

Heretofore I was lost in a fog of lust for Senator Landrieu, but now I understand my own enchantment a little better. Maybe now I can stop sending her those pathetic letters.

I first became aware of Landrieu during one of those lookit-the-lady-Democrats sessions at the 2004 Convention. The other gals were going at it like pros, while Landrieu seemed vaguely ill at ease but still game -- like she was at her first lesbian orgy or something. Since then I haven't been able to stop thinking about her.

For some reason, the near-certainty that underneath the baby-fat and bedroom eyes she is a hereditary Louisiana politician with all the corruption and malignity pertaining thereunto only makes her hotter.


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