February 02, 2008

Wack Housekeeper Stories

Ever since I hired a new housekeeper several months ago, she has done some peculiar things. First it was the windows. I have windows that open in two positions. They swing open from the side, like this:

They also tilt open from the top, like this:

But the first time Consuela cleaned my house, I came home to find the windows open to a hitherto uninvented position -- dangling precariously by one lower corner, with my dining room chairs placed underneath as a safety net.

So I did what any normal homeowner would do -- I went online to find a Spanish-to-English translator, and then I drew a diagram with instructions in Spanish on how to open and close my windows to the side and from the top. Here's the diagram:

I show this diagram to my friends for laughs. I'm thinking of framing it.

The next funny thing Consuela did was to destroy my new box of Tide detergent. I bought a new box and did not yet open it. The box has a clearly marked, colored pull tab that opens around the perimeter of the top. There's no way that an adult, even one who speaks no English, could be unfamiliar with such an invention. But when I came home the other day after a visit from Consuela, I saw my new box of Tide with the top violently torn open, the way a three year-old would go after a cereal box to get at the toy inside. The pull tab was intact.

The last time Consuela came over, I had to search far and wide to find my skillet. I finally found it -- in the oven.

It has become quite entertaining to come home after one of Consuela's cleaning sessions and to discover, as if on a scavenger hunt, what adventure awaits me next.


At 2:23 PM, Blogger Washington Cube said...

Listen. At least your jewelery and silver haven't gone missing, and I'm not joking. One friend had housekeeping stealing sheets and exiting the house with them wrapped around her waist.

In D.C. we've been honoring poetry day on Feb. 2 for the past three years, by putting a poem on our blogs, then linking back to the concepts creator, Reya. Care to join?

Find a poem about mops.


At 3:24 PM, Blogger media concepts said...

Thanks for the comment, and the accompanying photo. You're right that stealing gold & silver would be less than entertaining. As for posting a poem, unfortunately, I'm no poet. I did spend 5 minutes writing a five minute poem to begin my October 12, 2007 post about mustches. Does that count?

At 6:03 PM, Blogger Washington Cube said...

I guess I should have explained this more clearly..my fault. We don't write poems, though some do. We copy a poem we like.

At 6:48 AM, Blogger Aileen said...

My cleaning lady has an issue with my bathroom "hollywood style" lighting. It's one of those arrangements with several bright bulbs over the mirror. The first time she came over, the one on the left was dangling precariously out of the socket. The second time, there were two bulbs hanging down, and the third time, there were three. I tried to talk to her about it (I'm not even sure what she did to cause it), but was unsuccessful!

At 11:36 AM, Blogger media concepts said...

That's wacky too. Maybe she cleans the bulbs by rubbing a cloth on them counterclockwise only? Maybe she's in the process of writing a joke about how many bloggers it takes to screw in a lightbulb?

At 9:05 AM, Blogger Barbara said...

I have had quite similar and laughable experiences. I find all my Hispanic housecleaners to be extremely honest and trustworthy. We have always give them a key to our house and never had anything go missing when we were here or not. Our last one tended to break things because I think she didn't see well, but there was no attempt to destroy the evidence. She also was using ink remover instead of floor cleaner on my husband's Pergo floor in his office. Being illiterate is a real disability. My husband had a clever solution: He took pictures of the appropriate place to use each cleaning product and taped them to the bottles. We never had another problem. My current housecleaner is young and enthusiastic and enterprising. Her mark is to fold the end of the toilet paper like they do in hotels. I think it's cute! Buena suerte!

After reading Aileen's comment, I must add that my housecleaner always dims the light in my bathroom to a romantic low level. I think she is fascinated with lights on dimmers.


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