Wack Housekeeper Stories
Ever since I hired a new housekeeper several months ago, she has done some peculiar things. First it was the windows. I have windows that open in two positions. They swing open from the side, like this:
They also tilt open from the top, like this:
But the first time Consuela cleaned my house, I came home to find the windows open to a hitherto uninvented position -- dangling precariously by one lower corner, with my dining room chairs placed underneath as a safety net.
So I did what any normal homeowner would do -- I went online to find a Spanish-to-English translator, and then I drew a diagram with instructions in Spanish on how to open and close my windows to the side and from the top. Here's the diagram:
I show this diagram to my friends for laughs. I'm thinking of framing it.
The next funny thing Consuela did was to destroy my new box of Tide detergent. I bought a new box and did not yet open it. The box has a clearly marked, colored pull tab that opens around the perimeter of the top. There's no way that an adult, even one who speaks no English, could be unfamiliar with such an invention. But when I came home the other day after a visit from Consuela, I saw my new box of Tide with the top violently torn open, the way a three year-old would go after a cereal box to get at the toy inside. The pull tab was intact.
The last time Consuela came over, I had to search far and wide to find my skillet. I finally found it -- in the oven.
It has become quite entertaining to come home after one of Consuela's cleaning sessions and to discover, as if on a scavenger hunt, what adventure awaits me next.