You Know Mercury is in Retrograde When ...

... First, your Internet and cable service quit, and it takes days to get it fixed. You are forced to take radical steps, such as going online at coffee shops and reading actual books at home. Then, your computer battery stops charging, and, after arguing on the phone to Dell Technical Support for an hour and forty-five minutes that you don't need a new $180 battery, they suggest having you start the computer in Startup mode -- something you could have done in the first five minutes -- which instantly reveals that, as you were telling them all along, the problem is the AC adapter.

Then, to top it off (pun intended), you have a surreal and ultimately comical experience with the guy behind the Costco pizza window. A friend and I ordered a pizza, and I asked for mushrooms and green peppers.

Guy behind window: "You can only get it with all the vegetables, including onions and olives."
Me: "Huh? Why can't the person making the pizza just stop after sprinkling on the mushrooms and green peppers? Isn't that less work for him?"

I got some head scratching, but never a clear answer on that one.

So I went online, and, as I suspected, Mercury is indeed in retrograde, from September 24 through October 15. For those of you who are not familiar with this phenomenon, people who believe in such things say that it is an unsettling time often characterized by electronic devices, travel plans, contractual arrangements, and other things (such as pizza making) going absolutely haywire.

Mercury, you were named for your speed of movement. So will you please speed up?