It's Project Bluebeam, and I Feel Fine

Just as Mercury gets out of retrograde, something very strange is supposed to happen on October 14. I heard about it from the people where I get my hair cut, so it must be true. Some say it will be a massive invasion of space aliens. Others say it will be a NASA-created fake alien invasion called Project Bluebeam.

Project Bluebeam is supposedly a super-secret NASA project designed to replicate an alien invasion and cause earthquakes. The NASA-created light show and electromagnetic pulse wave will cause people to think that God is talking to them. (Of course, many people already think that. They're called Sarah Palin supporters.) All Gods will appear (through holographic technology) and meld into one, and Jesus Christ will lead the new World Religion. Apparently, Satan himself will also make an appearance. The New World Order will be ushered in.

Oh, and all this will supposedly take place over Alabama.

And yes, my haircut place is just a few blocks from Venice Beach, what's your point? I say, as long as Project Bluebeam doesn't cause my Internet and cable service to shut down again, I'm fine with it.